What I would like to do is to complain about everything. I am sore from the sudden everyday change in my routine, I’m tired from getting up every few hours to feed my daughter, I’m tired from producing breastmilk, I’m tired from taking care of everyone and my house and myself. It doesn’t help that it’s overcast/snowing today. It doesn’t help that my 4-month-old is feeling fussy today and won’t go down for a nap. It doesn’t help that there’s a kitchen full of dirty dishes that have been there since yesterday.
After all of this complaining (of which I could continue), I have accomplished nothing. I want to be more positive. It’s hard to find good things while surviving on minimal and segmented sleep, but here it goes… I’m grateful that my daughter is healthy, even if she is a bit fussy. I’m grateful to have a kitchen and food, even if I need to clean it up. The weather outside might be a bit dreary, but I’m lucky to have heat and a home to stay in from the cold. This new routine is challenging, but it will make me stronger. If I need a break today, I can take it and pick it up tomorrow without feeling guilty because I am trying my best with the situations I have to deal with.
This has actually helped. I am still tired, but I feel like I have a lot more going my way now, even though nothing but my perspective has changed. Thanks for taking the time to read this. I guess I’ll go do some dishes now.