Getting Out the Door

I sent an email today to my mentor Nicole and the Team Myles Coordinator, Danielle, telling them that I could no longer be part of the program.  Since I applied, I have been wondering if I could train for the Scotiabank Blue Nose Marathon.  I have carried this doubt with me every day since I found out I was accepted to the half marathon program.  My doubt is not about my ability to accomplish this challenge, but about simply getting out the door.

Getting out the door on a good day is hard, but on a bad day, it is nearly impossible.  Last June, my husband died.  He thought he had a cold, and three days later he passed away from cardiac arrest related to sepsis.  Our children were 6 and 2 when he died – they didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye to him because he was in the ICU within an hour of going to the hospital.   So getting out the door is hard for all of us.

Even though I applied to Team Myles with this doubt in my mind, a part of me thought I could do it.  I forgot that I am trying to make life as normal as possible for my beautiful children.  We have swimming, ballet, break dancing, hockey, basketball and circus class to get to in the run of the week. What was I thinking adding training for a half marathon to our schedule?  In the last few days, the weight of my decision to participate in Team Myles was heavy.  There was  no way that I could do this, so I sent my email and said sorry…I’m done.

Within an hour, the amazing Nicole Mauger wrote me back and said that I needed to do this, that she would help, she would run with me on different days,  that my kids could come to the training runs and someone would watch them.  Also within that hour, the amazing Kristen Grant, a 2017 ambassador and 2018 mentor offered to watch my children.  As I read the words of support from Nicole and Kristen I was overcome with emotion.  Once again, I experienced loving support from friends in a moment where I really needed it.

Family and friends have given us so much in these last eight months.  From meals, to grocery drop offs, to hugs, to drives to basketball practice and Beavers; we have been part of a kindness that I have never experienced before.  Today, was another example of how love, kindness and support can make a difference.  I am going to cross that finish line and know that I was able to get out the door and run a half marathon because of all the love that is around me.

My mentor is right…I need this.  I need Team Myles in my life at this exact moment.  When I run, I think of my husband and how much he meant to us.  I listen to a running playlist that he made me three weeks before he died.  I run because of the fresh salty air that I get to inhale.  I run because it makes me feel strong.  I run, because I can.  Thank you Team Myles powered by Lifemark,  for helping to get me out the door.

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