Fighting the self doubt

Being part of Team Myles 2016 was such a life changing thing for me that as soon as it was over I was asking how do we apply to be a mentor for the upcoming year. I wanted to be there for and help support the new members as much as my fabulous mentor and team members had done for me. Without them I would not have ended up running a 10k much less doing it without walking.

A lot went on in my life over this past year and I ran my way through it. It was only when I injured myself in the fall that I truly realized how much running meant to me and how I was using it to deal with my grief.  Not being able to run or go to the gym I fell back into my old unhealthy ways of “coping” and I started to binge eat. I fell deep into a hole of depression and with the support of friends and family I finally acknowledged that I needed help and contacted my doctor.

When the call came out for applications for 2017 mentors I debated submitting my application. Once chosen I debated accepting a spot. I’ve gained a lot of my weigh back, I hadn’t been to a gym in months, my running wasn’t consistent and wasn’t sure I was the best person for the job with my mental health and trying to focus on school but I realized that as a mentor I would gain as much as I could give to the new team and I agreed.

This years team is truly amazing and the ladies on my pod inspire me everyday. I’m not going to lie, there are some days I wonder if I’m providing enough encouragement and support to the team but at the same time I think its good for them to see that everyone has struggles. Running doesn’t have to be about being in the front of the pack or crossing the finish line first. I think its about getting out of your own head and pushing yourself to be a better you. I’m not where I want to be weight wise but more importantly i’m not where I started. Running has made me realize I’m strong enough to get back on track and with these ladies who are becoming friends I know i’ll be doing it with laughs, tears, and smiles along the way.

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