Today’s weight is: 178.8lbs
I worry a lot about what people think of me and I spend too much time with people that think very little of me.
So last time i told you i would get more into my fitness experience. Years ago I played rugby in high school but I wasn’t very good at it. After i graduated i worked at blockbuster for 8.5 years and slowly my weight balooned to 180 or 190lbs. I am not sure how big I had gotten but it feels bigger than I am now and i’m 178.8lbs today.
I actually got sick and couldn’t eat very much for a year. The doctors don’t really know what was wrong but it sounds like it was ulcer like. Basically my body took a stand and told me to stop treating it like crap. I lost 50lbs because i couldn’t eat any of the fun foods anymore. Then i became a germaphobe because no one can tell me why i got sick.
I worked in the mall for 2 years and was so afraid of getting the flu i stopped eating while I was at work. That forced me to loose more weight and I got down to 123lbs. Which was a loss of about 20lbs in less than 2 months. You would think that was a great thing, but my hair started falling out and I was far too small. Everyone told me i was too small, and they were right. So i tried really hard to gain a bit of weight over that summer…. but i never stopped gaining it. Now i’m back up to 178 and it feels like that number is never going to stop rising no matter how hard I try.
The number isn’t important. But the fact that my knees creak and i have so little energy does.
Yesterday was Halifax Team Myles’ first run! It was great and I hope everyone had a good time. My hips are hurting today, but it’s a good pain, it means I used them! My goal was to be able to keep up with the 1min run: 1min walk ratio and I did for the most part but the last 1/4 i wasn’t doing quite as well as I hoped. But that’s fine, it means i have a smaller goal to work towards. Hopefully by the end of the week i will see that progress.
Today wasn’t the best day emotionally. I realized that someone i highly respect doesn’t feel the same about me and thats a bummer. I also was turned down for an interview i wanted to have. So…
Today’s weight is: feeling unrespected by someone I admire and understanding that I can’t change that.
Today’s non scale victory is: feeling the pain of delayed onset muscle soreness because it means I used my body and I am building muscle!