Feeling Deflated

feeling deflated

I’ve been having a rough time lately keeping training and life in general together. I have been feeling completely deflated. Like nothing in life was going right. Last week was particularly rough.

Work has been unbelievably stressful lately. We are undergoing a transformation which will result in my office closing within the next year. This means I am on the job market. I love working with Scotiabank and hope I will be able to stay with them, but the fact that I need to find a new job is always in the back of my mind.

I’ve also had some unexpected expenses come up, which have added to the stress. Plus, my body is aching in places I’ve never ached before.

All of last week’s stresses seemed to pile together which resulted in me bursting into tears in the middle of hill training last Tuesday. What really deflated me that day was I had special ordered a BEAUTIFUL pair of sneakers, but when they came in, they were too big. I have very wide feet and have been having a lot of trouble finding sneakers to properly fit me. In fact, I have been running with sneakers that I need to crazy glue the soles just to keep them together. The beautiful sneakers are on re-order, so fingers crossed they will arrive soon and I can rock them when I run.

You would think that having a meltdown during training would be completely embarrassing. In fact, it wasn’t. People were concerned I was upset, but could tell I was going to be ok. I kept running and managed to finish the training without stopping.  At the end, I got so many hugs and words of encouragement. So many people have been in my shoes before, and sometimes tears happen.  I’ll be there with those same hugs and encouraging words if this happens to anyone else.

What I took away from feeling deflated is that it’s ok to have those moments. It’s what you do with them after that matters. It also means that you’re human and every day isn’t going to be sunshine and lollipops. I went home that night, watched a really sad movie, and had a good old ‘Oprah ugly cry’. It got the sad emotion out and helped me to move on.

your choice



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