Here is to the next step to the life I want to have, and the life I want to live.

Where to begin, I am a very private person, so this is not easy for me to write my story, although I do feel it is very similar to most.  I am 41 years old, I have struggled with my weight for the last 20 years.  I was a person who exercised on a regular basis, played on several sports teams, and some how along the way, I lost myself and who I was as an individual, I stopped playing sports, I stopped exercising, somehow I stopped being me.

Within the last 21 years, I have found the love of my life, and we have two beautiful boys, we have struggled, we have succeeded, laughed, cried, dreamed and soared and I would not change it for anything.  Along the way I would start exercising and taking care of myself, but my guilt would rise up and take a hold of me (leaving the boys to do something for me was hard – I worked all day / everyday – and I felt if I was away to exercise or do something for me, it took time away from them) guilt always set in and I would stop.  Not once did my husband or boys say please stay home, don’t exercise, don’t take care of yourself.  They never made me feel bad or guilty for taking care of myself, I was self sabotaging myself, no one else.  It has taken me years’ to come to this realization, that I am and was the problem all along.

I have diabetes in my family, and I go through times where I don’t eat well at all, and it gets out of control, and it scares me.  I want to show my boys that eating healthy and exercising is important, and that if you want something bad enough, regardless what it is, you can strive to get it, when you put your mind to it.  I cannot be me or be there for them, if I don’t take care of myself first.

Last fall at work we had a weight loss challenge, and I won, I had lost 14 lbs in 8 weeks, and I wanted to stay motivated, not loose sight, my colleague Louise Gorman mentioned “Team Myles”, I was like you have to tell me all about it, she did and I thought this is my next step, I have to do this.  I went home that night and checked out the website and I had 5 hours left of their deadline to submit my application, I thought there was no way I would get it in on time, let alone be picked.  Several weeks had passed and Louise and I would check with each other to see if the other one received any notification, it felt like forever.  I told Louise that if I did not get picked that I hope she did and that I would cheer her on, every step of the way.  Then the news finally came in, Louise and I both were chosen, we both celebrated and I thought this is my chance, this is my chance to prove to myself that I can do this, and keep doing this and hopefully support my team, and others who may be reading (this is a frightening thought for me – I don’t like being of any centre of attention at all), but if I can help you or motivate you, even one person, then I can call that a success.  I have always wanted to learn how to run and with Team Myles, I am being taught just that, but I have a deep feeling, that I will get so much more than just learning how to run, and I cannot wait for those possibilities.  Thank you Louise for sharing this with me!

I started video blogs since day one, I am not very good at it, but I will continuing doing them every Sunday pre and post run.

Here is to the next step to the life I want to have, and the life I want to live.

M

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