Today’s weight is

Sundays less than stellar run

Today’s weight is: 176.1 lbs

Welcome to my portion of the Team Myles blog! I’m so glad you could make it, settle in and get comfy.

I hope to make this blog as genuine and honest as possible, and I hope you enjoy reading it. If you don’t, please feel free to throw tomatoes at your screen at any time.

I’m a filmmaker by trade, i have a bachelor of fine arts and a major in film. It pretty much devours most of my life. I eat sleep and breath filmmaking so i suppose it’s best you know that about me right away. I’m also obsessed with babies and really want to have them someday. Another obsession i have is with plants as i started growing them to fill the void my cat left when he died on May.

So those are pretty big parts of my life, and ones that I struggle with absolutely every day. I apply for grants to make my films but i am almost always rejected. I’m so horribly single that the closest i will get to having kids is stealing my nieces. And as much as I find tending to my plants relaxing it stresses me the heck out because i don’t want them to die (one time my air plant rotted and fell apart in my hands and I bawled for 20 minutes).

So that’s what you need to know about me for now. I will talk more about my fitness journey next post. So far the Halifax team has not met yet for our first run. I’m confident in my ability to do a 1 minute running: 1 minute walking ratio. But my biggest fear in the long run is that I won’t be consistent, and I wont keep up the healthy lifestyle change. See… i know a lot about proper fitness and nutrition, i just jump on and off the wagon so frequently I might as well buy a pogo stick and just hop along side the damn thing.

Anyway, i will be attending the Women Making Waves conference this weekend dedicated to women in film and telivision (i even submitted an application to their pitch competition and was rejected). It’s not going to be easy to attend the conference in the mood I have been lately. Despite my sucesses i still feel like a failure and I feel as though no one wants me. Thats the best way to put it, no one wants me around. Like a bad smell that clings to your clothes, thats how i feel despite knowing better. All this sounds pretty depressing, and I do have some form of anxiety but i’m really a pretty happy person. So don’t worry when I feel down, i’m a master at getting back up again. And you can’t have a rainbow without a little rain!

I ran a bit on sunday, it was a terrible run for me but at least i got out there. I will hopefully squeeze another one in tomorrow before we meet on Sunday. Hopefully it’s better than the last, but if it sucks, it sucks and I will just try again.

As you noticed at the top I put my weight. I am trying to loose weight but my physical and mental health are far more important than a number on the scale. I will put my physical weight at the top of each post, and either at the top or bottom I will put my mental/emotional weight. Just like this:

Today’s weight is: My feelings of inadequacy and desperation to be sucessful and valued.

 

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