Got my ugly cry on!

Yesterday morning at approximately 11:45 am I had one of the most incredible experiences of my life! NO, I didn’t go skydiving (although I have done that!) and no, I didn’t win a million dollars (still hopeful!) but what I did do was go for a run with my team (myles) and ran 3 minutes on and 1 minute off for 8 intervals…something I had convinced myself before I even tried that I would not be able to do! I literally sat up the entire night before and obsessed over it (because that’s what I do;)

Now, I realize to some of you reading this,  that probably sounds ridiculous. Running 8 intervals of 3:1…big deal…but it WAS a big deal…it was a HUGE deal! You see I have about 40 pounds of “extra” weight on me right now (“oh, but Alisha you carry it so well!”)  and exercise (which used to come easily to me) has now become a chore…running isn’t just running anymore…running is now running with an extra 40 pounds you have to carry so it’s freaking uncomfortable! If you can’t imagine what that would be like  carry my 4 year old on your next jog:)

I have always struggled with weight my whole life since even before I was a teenager. I have always been up and down …up and down… but this is the longest stretch I have ever had the extra on and not been able to get it off.  Now I don’t know about any of you but I also struggle emotionally when I have weight on….big time! I know that your weight does not define who you are as a human being but it does (at least for me)  play a huge part in how I feel about myself and in turn, how I interact with the world.

I started this journey in all honestly thinking it would help me lose weight…I didn’t think it was (or could be) about anything else….

I realized yesterday as I came over  the finish line (with  our trainer Leanne by my side)… sweat pouring off of me, my hair resembling that of a rats nest  and giving sweaty hugs to everyone (while rocking my ugly cry;) that this has become about so much more for me than losing weight and a  10k run.

This is working towards building a better me.

This is about accepting who I am and being proud of the woman I am becoming.

This is about giving myself a break and not being so hard on myself.

This is about letting go of the past and being OK with the things that have happened

This is about starting to love myself enough to look after myself

This is about becoming the best version of myself I can possibly be… because everyone deserves that!…Everyone!

When I look back on this experience yesterday will definitely be one of the runs I remember. I wanted to give up. My legs and calves were killing, I found it so hard to get a full breath, I felt every one of those extra 40 pounds while running…taunting me …

And then there was Leanne (yup this is definitely a plug;)  Leanne is one of our trainer’s from LIFEMARK and she is nothing short of incredible. She kept pace beside me and kept saying in my ear “you can do this Alisha, don’t give up, you’ve got this” she broke it down into smaller goals for me during the run so I wasn’t overwhelmed. In that moment (surprised I could hear her over my obnoxiously loud breathing haha!) I knew I could do it and as much as it was hurting me I wasn’t going to give up…and I didn’t.

Sometimes, that’s all it takes is having people in your corner (like Leanne and our other “Coach Cindy”  (she likes being called that) and all of our mentors!)…having people who believe in you and are there with you cheering you on to succeed.

I love all of these women and am so grateful to have them in my corner.

 

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2 Responses to “Got my ugly cry on!”

  1. Leanne Strathdee
    Leanne StrathdeeMarch 20, 2017 at 4:28 pm #

    Your Ugly cry was beautiful … as is your blog. Don’t give up on you … you’ve got this #10KAlltheWay!!

  2. Michelle JoyceMarch 22, 2017 at 12:27 pm #

    I am such a proud mom right now. I have always thought you to be a beautiful person,through any struggles you have braved. You have always accomplished what you set your mind to, once you make that decision. You have got this one too !! Xoxoxo

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